Respectful Care for Older Adults: Dignity and Choice

By Silver Sitters

Needing help with daily activities does not diminish an older adult’s dignity, interests or right to be heard. Respectful assistance begins with getting to know the individual instead of assuming what they can do, want or understand because of their age.

Plan with the person

The Administration for Community Living describes person-centered planning as a process directed by the person receiving support. It considers strengths, goals, needs, culture and preferences. Ask what matters most, what help is welcome and who the person wants involved in decisions. Include them as fully as possible even when a representative also participates.

Use the person’s preferred name and approach

Ask how they would like to be addressed. A first name, title or familiar nickname should reflect their preference, not the caregiver’s assumption. The World Health Organization identifies patronizing interactions and age-based stereotypes as forms of ageism. Speak adult to adult and explain what you are offering to do.

Protect privacy during assistance

Before helping with dressing, bathing or another personal task, explain the next step and ask permission. Discuss practical preferences, such as who is present, when assistance happens and how to keep the room private. Avoid discussing personal details in front of visitors without checking the person’s wishes.

Support meaningful choices

Find out which parts of a task the person wants to do independently and where support would help. Discuss safety concerns together and involve an appropriate professional when needed. Care planning should include interests, relationships and everyday routines, not only a list of tasks to complete.

Our article on hobbies for older adults offers ways to consider enjoyment, access and changing needs.

Listen and adapt communication

Give the person time to explain concerns and respond. If communication is difficult, ask what would make the conversation easier. For someone living with dementia, the Alzheimer’s Association advises speaking directly to them, allowing time and adapting the approach to their abilities. A diagnosis alone does not tell you how well someone can communicate.

Check back after assistance: Was it comfortable? Was anything rushed? Would they prefer a different approach next time? Use their feedback to adjust the plan.